We All Lose Our Charms In The End
by sleepy-emo
Summary: It's this weird little dance that has been going on for way too long; Ed on one side not telling Roy how he really feels about him because he's a stubborn brat, Roy on the other desperately trying to understand what is going on in Ed's head and Envy in the middle making sure the music continues to play.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to 'Sleepy's Emo Corner', I haven't been here for a while :D There is a chance I originally had higher expectations for this story than what I ended up getting down but I hope I do the premise enough justice. Set in Season cannon (this chapter is set post episode 19), took me a good hour to work out where each chapter was going and Ed's age as well - maths makes my brain hurt. Anyway hope you all enjoy :D**

The legal age of consent in Amestris is sixteen. Ed had had to remind himself of that since the first time he came to Central and really saw Roy Mustang for the first time. When they had first met, when Roy came to Resembool all those years ago, Ed had been too far gone feeling sorry for himself to really notice but when he went to Central to take his State Alchemist Exam; one look at Roy and he was gone. Head over heels in love.

Four years he had waited. Four long years of pent up frustration, of watching what he said, of trying not to feel like shit whenever he heard people talking about the hoards or women at Roy's beck and call. He kept telling himself that Roy would never be interested in him – a skinny, half damaged, teenage boy – but, one evening he was proved wrong when he went to Roy's office after hours to turn in his (extremely late) report.

He had expected a lecture about turning his reports in on time, what he hadn't expected was for Roy to throw him down on his desk and fuck him until he was screaming. It was the best sixteenth birthday present anyone could have possibly given him. He had thought that, after that, it would just be a one time thing but Roy had continued to call him into the office after hours for a good, hard fuck every so often.

And that was where he now found himself, not long after the fight where Roy had killed Lust, in Roy's office, naked in Roy's arms, riding him as if his life depended on it. Ed moaned, letting his head fall back as Roy's teeth sunk into his neck. He sunk his hands into Roy's hair, relishing how soft if felt against his flesh fingers, as Roy's cock slammed into his prostate yet again. Oh god, it was amazing! Every single time Ed and Roy were together Roy was the only thing that Ed could focus on. His voice, his face, his body. Just about everything that was Roy made Ed weak at the knees and he still couldn't quite believe it was really happening.

"Oh god, Roy," Ed practically sobbed as he continued to bounce up and down on Roy's cock. "I'm so close, I'm gonna cum!" Roy reached down and began to pump Ed's cock in time with his thrusts.

"Cum for me Edward," Roy said, his voice low and filled with desire. The assault on both his cock and his prostate was too much for Ed and before he knew it, he was cumming. Clenching around Roy's cock, and screaming his name as he tightened his arms around his neck. A few more thrusts and he felt Roy stiffen underneath him as he reached his own release. Breathing heavily Ed rested his forehead against Roy's, his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and he wanted nothing more that to stay like that forever. Without thinking he leaned forward and kissed Roy's lips softly.

As soon as he realised what he had done Ed pulled away, his eyes wide and his face red. He stared at Roy and waited for him to react. Even though they fucked on a regular basis Ed was still terrified that it would all come to a crashing end if Roy found out how he really felt about him and tried not to show too much affection. He couldn't help it though, he needed Roy like he needed air. Time seemed to stop but after a much longer pause than Ed was comfortable with, Roy cupped Ed's cheek and pulled him into a kiss that stopped Ed from worrying.

* * *

Half an hour later Ed and Roy left the office as if nothing had happened. That was how it was: amazing together and it made Ed feel as if all his dreams had come true but once it was over they were back to being Mustang and Fullmetal. That was how it had to be. Maybe, once Ed was no longer his subordinate, the two of them could be together but until he and Al had their original bodies back that was just a far off dream.

"So I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow, Bastard," Ed said trying to ignore the fact that he really didn't want to go. All he wanted was a few more minutes with him, was that really so much to ask for?

"One thing before you go Fullmetal," he said, a small smirk playing about his lips.

"What?" Ed asked. Without another word Roy reached round to cup the back of Ed's head. He used this leverage to pull Ed into a passionate kiss that made Ed weak at the knees and took his breath away. He reached up to grab the front of Roy's coat, fisting the material tightly to keep himself standing. He couldn't believe it; Roy was kissing him out in public – this never happened! It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them that they kept it at the office only, never showed each other any affection unless one of both of them was naked. After what was a much too short time for Ed Roy pulled away.

"See you around Fullmetal," he said smirking before turning and leaving. Ed waited till he felt as if he could move against before turning in the opposite direction and making his way back to the barracks.

Roy cast a glance over his shoulder and saw Ed leaving. His smirk widened, well that had gone better than expected. He hadn't known how Ed was going to react to him kissing him out in public but the pure and simple face that Ed's knees had practically given out only proved just how far gone Ed was. This really was better than expected.

Roy was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't see the small figure leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest, until he as practically on top of him. He smiled warmly as the figure stepped into the path of a street light and he recognised Selim Bradley.

"Well hello there," he said. "What are you doing out on your own so late at night?" Selim turned to face him, glaring.

"Cut the shit Envy," he growled. "I know it's you."

"What?" Roy asked looking confused. Selim just continued to scowl at him.

"I am not in the mood to play around here," Selim snapped his voice changing, becoming raspier and darker, a few shadow tendrils winding their way up his legs and face as if to prove a point.

"Fine." Red sparks flashed and, within seconds, Envy stood before him. He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Better?"

"Define better," Pride snapped. Envy chuckled.

"What crawled up your arse and died?" he asked.

"What the fuck are you doing Envy?" Pride snapped.

"I don't know what you mean," Envy replied, feigning innocence, crossing his arms behind his head. Pride growled. So he was going to play it that way was he?

"Really?" he asked. "Because I think the Fullmetal Alchemist would have something to say if he knew who it was who was really fucking him."

"Oops," Envy smirked. "You caught me."

"Why are you messing around with Fullmetal?" Pride asked. Envy glared at him. This little interrogation was beginning to get annoying.

"Listen, Squirt, what I do with the Fullmetal Pipsqueak is of no concern to you," he said. "I know what I'm doing."

"That may be so but you'd better make sure that you don't interfere with the big picture," Pride said. "This wasn't part of Father's plan."

"Relax," Envy said. "I know that."

"Has Father given you permission to do this?"

"No." That should have been obvious. Envy did what he wanted, he didn't need anyone's permission.

"Then why the hell are you doing it?" Pride asked. "If you do anything to jeopardise the plan..."

"It won't," Envy cut him off. "Trust me."

"Trust you?" Pride scoffed. "Why on earth should I trust you?" Envy chuckled placing one of his hands on his forehead and the other on his hip.

"Is there anything I can say here that will get you off my back?"

"Just tell me what you think you're doing and what you're planning?"

"I'm just having a little fun," Envy smirked. "I ain't going to cause him any _real_ harm..."


	2. Chapter 2

**So I going to be updating this every couple of days and this is almost like another little introductory chapter. Set roughly around the same time as Chapter 1 in series cannon. Hope you enjoy :D**

The legal age of consent in Amestris is sixteen. Roy had had to remind himself of that since he and Ed had fought in the, still talked about, 'Flame vs Fullmetal' fight. He knew it was wrong – Ed was fourteen years younger than he was for crying out loud – but Ed was well built for someone of his age, he sure as hell didn't act like someone of his age and the fact that he was constantly giving him shit had Roy wanting him. It was never going to happen though – there was no way that Ed would return his feelings, in fact he's probably be disgusted by them – but Roy would allow himself to dream occasionally.

He had watched Ed grow; filling out, gaining more muscle and (even though he would never tell him) getting ever so slightly taller. He had also seen the way that Ed looked at him change; there seemed to be a mischievous glint in his eyes that hadn't been there before. At first Roy thought that he was imagining it but then one evening when he was working late Ed had turned up, unannounced, at his office.

Roy had asked him what on earth he was doing as he slowly began to remove his clothing. Ed had given him a coy smile, as he hopped up onto Roy's desk, and said something that nearly broke Roy – 'I'm sixteen now, you know'. Roy's mouth had gone dry as Ed began to masturbate in front of him. He was unable to take his eyes off him as Ed pumped his cock with flesh hand and ran his metal on up his chest to tease one of his nipples. When Ed had started moaning his name Roy's resolve had shattered and he had taken Ed right then and there on his desk, sweeping all of his paper work to the floor.

Roy had never expected more but Ed kept coming back to him for sex until it was no longer a surprise. The thought of Ed underneath him, screaming his name and bucking up onto his cock was sometimes the only thing that got Roy through the day.

And that was where he found himself, buried to the hilt inside Ed who was spread out on his desk, moaning with every thrust. Occasionally Roy still wouldn't quite be able to believe that this was happening – Ed was his manic dream come true and, when they were together, it was as if the world around him stopped.

"Oh god, Roy!" Ed moaned as he reached down with his flesh hand and began to jerk his cock in time with Roy's thrusts. The sight ripped a growl from Roy's throat. He could feel Ed tightening around him and he knew Ed was close, that was good for him because he didn't know how much longer he would last with Ed getting himself off beneath him. Edward Elric in the throws of passion really was a sight to behold.

"Cum for me Edward," Roy panted picking up his pace even more and slamming into Ed, making him scream. Ed tightened around him as he came and Roy's vision went white. Ed was tight normally but whenever he came it was like a vice and took only a few more thrusts into that blissful tightness before Roy reached his own end.

Panting, Roy practically fell onto his desk, catching himself before he crushed Ed. He looked down into Ed's flushed face and brushed his fringe out of his eyes before leaning down to kiss his lips. He maybe shouldn't have done that but when he felt Ed kiss back, wrapping his arms around his neck, he didn't care.

* * *

Half an hour later Roy left the office, with Ed at his side, as if nothing had happened. They were Mustang and Fullmetal again and, while it hurt Roy to see Ed leave, that was the way it had to be. Maybe when Roy was no longer his commanding officer they might be able to make a go of it but, until then, Roy would just enjoy it for what it was – no strings attached sex – and daydream every once in a while.

"So how long are you in town for Fullmetal?" Roy asked. On the one hand he was just making conversation but on the other he really wanted to know.

"Long enough," Ed said smiling coyly. He took a step towards Roy, taking hold of the front of his jacket.

"Oh really?" Roy smirked and raised an eyebrow. Ed bit his lip, feigning innocence but Roy knew something was going through his devious little mind. He wasn't wrong, he found out, when Ed used that hold to pull him down into a passionate kiss that was all lips and tongue. Roy was taken by surprise – they had agreed that until they could go public with their relationship they wouldn't have any intimate contact in public – but he got over it quickly and kissed Ed back with equal fervour. Almost as quickly as it had begun Ed pulled away, grinning up at him.

"See you tomorrow Bastard," he said and with that he left. Roy watched him leave, his eyes zeroed in on the sway of Ed's hips and the curve of his backside as he walked before turning and leaving himself.

Ed cast a quick glance over his shoulder and saw Roy leaving. He smirked to himself, well that had gone better than expected. He hadn't known how Roy would react when he kissed him out in public like that but he obviously had him wrapped around his little finger. This really was better than expected. A figure emerged from the entrance to an alleyway and Ed stopped, ready for a fight, before he recognised the Fuhrer and smiled.

"Fuhrer Bradley," he said. "Nice to see you. What brings you out our way?" Bradley gave him a knowing smile.

"It's a very convincing disguise Envy," he stated "but I think we can drop the theatrics, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked. Bradley chuckled softly.

"Very convincing Envy, but I know it's you," he said. Ed smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Red sparks flashed and, within seconds, Envy stood before him. He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "What gave me away?"

"I wouldn't have thought Mustang would throw his career away unless he had been subjected to your kind of persuasion," Wrath stated. "I also know you're playing the same little trick on Fullmetal."

"Pride told you?" Envy asked grinning. Wrath chuckled softly again and smirked.

"He didn't have to," he said. "I know everything that goes on in Central Command."

"A little creepy," Envy stated "but understandable."

"I wanted to ask you," Wrath said. "What is it that you are getting out of Mustang and Fullmetal?"

"Sex." Envy shrugged. Surely that should have been obvious, especially considering that Wrath knew what he was doing.

"That much I worked out for myself," Wrath stated. "What I don't understand is why." Envy stretched his arms above his head until his shoulders popped then leaned against the wall of the alleyway. He shrugged again.

"For fun?" he offered.

"Now, you see that is the part that I am having trouble with," Wrath said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can understand half of what you get out of these little liaisons, that much is obvious, but this is hardly your style," Wrath told him. Envy smirked and shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest nonchalantly.

"What can I say?" he asked. "I like to get my kicks where I can and they're both a pretty good fuck."

"I'm sure there are plenty of other people in Central you could use to get your 'kicks' as you put it," Wrath said.

"Your point?"

"You have some sort of plan with Mustang and Fullmetal, yes?"

"Oh yeah," Envy smirked. "With any luck they'll end up destroying each other so I don't have to..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys hope your weeks got off to a good start, I had to go back to work today after two weeks off boo! Anyway here is the third chapter this is set round about Episode 32 just before Ed and Al leave for Briggs, hope you enjoy :D**

Ed's stomach was churning with nerves as he walked up the steps to Central Command. He should be used to this by now for fuck's sake! Even though he and Roy had been sleeping together for a while now he wasn't, he should be cool calm and collected (like Roy) but there was just something about him that made Ed feel like a scared little virgin every single time he went to meet him. It was just something about the hold Roy had over him.

He took a deep breath as he made his way up to Roy's office in an attempt to calm his nerves but to no avail. He still felt as if there were hundreds of butterflies flapping around in his stomach. He was just about to round the corner of the corridor that led to Roy's office but stopped suddenly when he heard voices. He couldn't risk being seen by anyone – it would raise way too many questions as to why he was coming to see Roy in the middle of the night and Ed didn't want to throw away everything because someone else found out about their relationship.

He heard Roy's voice and a second that spoke so quietly he was barely able to catch it. Ed waited, straining his ears to hear the voices, trying to find out who Roy was talking to (then he could find out how long he was going to have to wait). The voice was definitely female but it was too simpering to be Hawkeye and it didn't use enough big words to be Sheska. Unless it was someone else from Central Command that Ed hadn't come into contact with before. He kept listening but they didn't seem to be talking about work.

After a while Ed couldn't take not knowing anymore and stuck his head around the end of the corridor just enough so that he could see without being seen. Standing in the doorway to Roy's office was a glamorous looking woman with long brown hair that hung about her shoulders in loose curls. She was running a strand of it, coyly, around her finger while sticking more of her ample cleavage into Roy's eyeline.

Ed held his breath as he watched Roy smirk at her taking the strand of her hair and wrapping it around his own finger. Was this really happening? He couldn't take his eyes off the scene in front of him; like the world had come to a juddering halt. He felt his heart stop as Roy reached over and passionately kissed the woman while she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal force. Tears sprang into Ed's eyes as he turned away, pressing himself up against the wall of the corridor. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip in a desperate attempt not to make a sound. No! This couldn't be happening.

How could Roy do this to him? Yes they couldn't go public with their relationship and that was surely putting a strain on Roy as much as it was him but Roy cared about him... didn't he? Ed shut his eyes tightly hoping to block it out but when he closed his eyes all he could see was that woman with her arms around Roy's neck as they kissed. Ed closed his fists tightly and pressed them against his eyes to stop the tears from falling. Unfortunately that didn't prevent him from hearing the soft moaning from the woman behind.

Finally Ed heard her say 'goodnight' and heard her footsteps come towards him. He pressed himself against the wall as he had nowhere else to hide. He watched her leave, waiting until she had completely disappeared, before he turned the corner and went up to Roy's office. He stood in front of the door, debating whether or not to actually knock and confront Roy about what he had just seen or whether to turn tail and run. His body seemed to have a mind of its own as, before he realised what he was doing, he had knocked on the door and running away was no longer an option.

"Did you forget something?" Roy smirked, a bra hanging from his index finger as he opened the door. He saw Ed and raised an eyebrow at him. "Fullmetal, what are you doing here?"

"Um... you asked me to come here," Ed replied in a small voice. He should have been kicking and screaming and calling Roy out for this bullshit but he couldn't bring himself to. Something about seeing Roy with that gorgeous woman had just confirmed all the fears he had about this relationship. What could Roy possibly see in someone like him?

"Did I?" Roy asked, pocketing the bra but still looking surprised to see him. Ed nodded and Roy shrugged. "Well as you're here." He stood to one side and Ed entered the office. Ed swallowed, trying to keep himself from falling apart, as Roy closed the door and went to sit down behind his desk. He took a deep breath. He knew he had to ask but he really didn't want to. Looking more confident than he felt Ed looked up at Roy. If he looked him in the eye when he asked then he would at least come away with some dignity.

"Who was she?"

"Oh her?" Roy chuckled. "She's no one."

"If she's no one then why did you kiss her?" Ed asked. The more he stood glaring at Roy the more angry he felt, the nerves and the pain seemed to be lessening, being replaced with the blind fury that Ed was so famous for.

"Oh you saw that?" Roy asked. He didn't sound like he was sorry in the slightest and this only added fuel to Ed's fire. So Roy was going to play it that way, was he? Well then Ed was going to give back as good as he got.

"Yeah I saw," Ed growled. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Roy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not that it's any of your business but I was entertaining her," Roy said calmly.

"Not that it's any of my business?" Ed echoed.

"Fullmetal I hardly see how my personal life is of any concern to you," Roy said. This didn't make sense – the way Roy had kissed him the last time they were together had suggested that he felt something for more him that just the euphoria of when they had sex. How could Ed have got it so wrong? Finally, it seemed that Roy had gotten tired of him... unless he had never been as into their hook ups as Ed had been. He could have just been stringing him along the entire time. Ed had been painfully aware of his reputation when he had started this.

"But I thought..." he began. He could feel himself shaking, all his earlier anger and confidence gone in one fell swoop.

"You thought what?" Roy asked coldly, staring down at him. Ed opened his mouth but whatever he had been about to say died in his throat. He couldn't take Roy looking at him like that – like he was nothing. It seemed that Roy wasn't finished with him yet though. "Come on, Fullmetal, what did you expect?"

"What?" Ed asked in a small voice.

"Think it through," Roy said. "I can hardly have an open relationship with my male subordinate. You're fourteen years my junior for fuck's sake." Ed swallowed the lump in his throat and held his ground. He couldn't break down now, he refused to let Roy see him hurt.

"But..."

"Don't get me wrong," Roy said as if Ed hadn't spoken "it was good while it lasted but you were just a bit of fun when I needed sex."

"You don't mean that..." Ed said and he was horrified to find out that his voice cracked as he spoke. He couldn't help it though – Roy's words had hit him like a punch in the stomach and he was still reeling from the blow.

"Listen Fullmetal," Roy smirked at him "you're a young, willing, hot piece of arse but just because someone fucks you doesn't mean that they care about you. It's really high time you learned that."

Something inside Ed snapped. He knew how the world worked – he knew that just because Roy had been fucking him didn't mean that he cared. It didn't mean a damn thing! He had heard the rumours about Roy Mustang, the king of the one night stand, but if that was all that he wanted then he shouldn't have led Ed on. He blinked back the tears and glared at Roy.

"Don't treat me like some stupid naïve kid you can take advantage of," he snarled. "I'm not one of your air-headed bimbos. You're a manipulative cunt and you use people for your own ends. So fuck you, you can't use me anymore. I'm better than this and I deserve better than this!" Roy gave a harsh bark of laughter.

"Grow up Edward," he said. "The simple fact that you react this way shows that you are a stupid naïve child."

"Fuck you," Ed growled. It was a very childish response and he knew it but he didn't have any other come back right now. Roy snorted derisively.

"Now you're just proving me right," he said. Ed took a deep breath and glared at him, looking him straight in the eye.

"You know I could ruin your career if I told anyone about this?" he asked. Fuck! Even that sounded childish when he said it like that. He had to at least try and save face so quickly decided to try and regroup. "Now I'm not going to do that because I'm better than that."

"You really do have delusions of grandeur, don't you?" Roy asked. "And you wonder why my interest in you faded because really, what on earth could you have offered me that I couldn't have gotten elsewhere? I mean look at yourself; what chance did you think you really had with me?" That made Ed stop short. His chest tightened and for a moment he thought that his heart was going to explode. Nothing compared to this pain – not losing his limbs, not automail surgery – no amount of physical anguish he had taken matched up to hearing the man he had been in love with shining a spotlight on his biggest fears and confirming that they were all true.

Tears began falling down his cheeks before he could stop them. He was just about able to hold Roy's eye as the world crumbled down around him. He had to leave and now. If he didn't get out of that office then he couldn't trust himself not to break down and beg Roy to take back what he said. No, he couldn't do that – Ed did not beg! Not for someone as much of a bastard as Roy. He took a deep breath hoping that his voice didn't break when he spoke.

"Well I guess you don't have to worry about me holding you back anymore," he said. Before Roy could say another word he turned and left the office. He managed to hold it together long enough to close the door and round the corner before he broke into a run, tears streaming down his face and no idea where he was actually going to run to, as the rush of adrenaline left and all he felt was hollow.

Once Roy was sure that Ed had gone he got up from his desk and went to the door. He looked down the corridor and saw that he was alone. He smirked. Well that had gone better than expected. Red sparks flashed and Envy brushed his hair out of his eyes when he had returned back to his preferred form before gone back into Roy's office to lock the door from the inside and make his exit out the window, leaving the office in the condition he had found it when he came in the exact same way. That had definitely gone better than expected.

* * *

Ed was going to be sick. Just being at Central Command, with the possibility of Roy seeing the dark circle under his eyes and knowing that he was the reason why, was almost too much for him. He was so thankful he had Al with him. He hadn't told Al why he was so edgy. After wandering around for a few hours, just wandering the streets looking for an excuse not to go home, he had finally gone back home at half past three. He had deflected Al's questions easily enough and gone to bed... not that he's actually gotten any sleep at all. God, he wanted nothing more than to get this over with.

"So heading North will be interesting, won't it Brother?" Al asked, trying to lighten Ed's mood.

"I guess," Ed shrugged. He hated how unenthusiastic he sounded. Al was trying to take his mind off things, even though he had no idea what was really wrong with him. He should at least put in the effort and try to sound cheerful.

"Brother are you sure you're okay?" Al asked. Shit! Now Ed felt like a dick. He was making Al worry because he couldn't hold it together. He sighed and shook his head.

"It's nothing," he said.

"It's not nothing," Al replied "but if you don't want to tell me now I can wait until you're ready." Ed could feel a lump forming in his throat and he wanted, more than ever, to throw his arms around Al and bury himself into his armour and cry until he stopped feeling like he was going to fall apart.

"Can I tell you when we get home?" he asked.

"Of course."

"It's just that..."

"Brother you don't have to explain," Al said, cutting him off. "I know you'll tell me when you're ready." Ed felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes and the urge to just cry into Al's chest only got stronger.

"Thanks Al," he said swallowing his feelings, just until he got home and there was no chance of running into...

"Hello Colonel," Al said suddenly, looking over Ed's shoulder. Ed closed his eyes and felt all of the energy drain out of him.

"Fuck my life," he muttered. Hadn't he been punished enough for attempting human transmutation or was the universe just out to get him? He didn't even want to turn round. He didn't quite trust himself not to break down and cry or scream at him and break his jaw.

"Good afternoon Alphonse, Fullmetal," Roy say. His voice was like silk, softly running down Ed's spine. Even though he hated him for making him feel this shitty Ed still couldn't deny that Roy's voice did funny things to him. He swallowed his nerves, bracing himself, and turned to face him. God, he looked as good as even! "So I hear you boys are heading up North soon, when are you leaving town?" he asked. He was just making conversation because Al was there, Ed told himself, he didn't actually care or what to know the answer.

"At the end of the week," Al said. Roy had to make a conscious effort not to grin like an idiot. If they were leaving at the end of the week then there was a chance he could see Ed on his own before they left. It felt like ages since they had been able to get together.

"If that's the case, Fullmetal, are you busy tonight?" he asked. "I have some old reports of yours that I would like to go over with you." To anyone else it would have been a perfectly valid question (especially is they had seen the quality of Ed's previous reports) but Ed knew the true meaning behind Roy's question. He knew that meant Roy wanted sex. He glared at him. Was that bastard really going to act like nothing had happened? Did he really think Ed was so damaged he'd come running back just like that? Apparently he did.

"The fuck is your problem?" Ed shouted. Roy blinked in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what the fuck is your problem?" Ed growled. "You think you can just snap your fingers whenever you want and I'll come running like your faithful little puppy? I'm not your fucking dog Mustang!"

"Brother what's gotten into you?" Al asked. Ed knew he should be reigning in his emotions but he couldn't help it; he had opened the floodgates and now he couldn't do anything to stop himself.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" he shouted, raising his fist. He didn't care what happened he just knew that he had to do something to make Roy feel some of the same kind of pain that he was – it didn't matter if it was physical or not. He was going to get in so much trouble for this. Al caught Ed's arm just before he could land the blow.

"Brother what are you doing?" he asked. Ed didn't answer, he just looked up at Roy. He looked so confused. He couldn't work out what he had said to set Ed off, all he had done was ask if he was free later, unless... unless Ed had gotten tired of him. That still didn't explain why Ed would risk potentially his life by attacking a Superior Officer, unprovoked. He looked at Ed, who was glaring up at him. Just seeing Roy not reacting at all was only making Ed feel worse. He blinked back his tears and turned away.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here," he snarled, yanking his arm out of Al's grasp, and stalked away. Roy and Al watched him leave.

"What was that all about?" Al asked once Ed had disappeared and he felt it was safe to speak.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Roy said. "Edward could have been court marshalled if anyone had seen that."

"I have no idea why he did that," Al said shaking his head. "There's something going on with him but he won't tell me what."

"What do you mean?" Roy asked. The last time he had seen Ed he had just been his usual self. Nothing out of the ordinary had really happened and if Ed had been having doubts he certainly hadn't said anything.

"Well he left last night at about half past eleven, saying he was going out for a walk and didn't want company, and he didn't come back till nearly four. It was obvious that something was wrong because his eyes were all red. He went to bed but he didn't sleep and he won't tell me what happened to him," Al said.

Roy furrowed his brow. He and Ed hadn't had plans the previous night – he had known that he was going to be out on a street assignment so hadn't said anything to Ed about coming to the office. So what had prompted Ed's sudden, violent outburst? Roy wanted to know but there was no way that Ed would tell him. Not after he had reacted like that to just seeing him.

"Alphonse if he tells you can you let me know?" he asked. "If it's something that I can help with, of course," he added hoping to cover himself. He didn't think Ed had told Al about their relationship and didn't want to arouse suspicion if he hadn't.

"Of course Colonel," Al said. Obviously he hadn't noticed anything more about Roy's request than the fact that he was looking out for his subordinate. "I should probably go and find him before he does something else that could get him into trouble."

"Of course," Roy nodded. "Well keep me posted."

"I will," Al said "and sorry for the trouble." With that Al ran off in the direction Ed had gone leaving Roy staring after him, still reeling and wondering what on earth had just happened.

* * *

Ed folded his arms across his chest and shrunk as far into his seat as he could, scowling. It had been one of the worst weeks of his life. He had spent most of his time hiding out in his room, switching between punching things until he could no longer feel his knuckles and crying until his chest ached, only leaving when he absolutely had to. Al had tried talking to him about what was wrong but Ed had shrugged him off, saying that it was nothing and that it didn't matter. Al didn't believe him for a second, and Ed knew this, but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it and relive it all again.

"I'm looking forward to heading North," Al said trying to make conversation. "I can't even remember the last time we saw snow, can you Brother?"

"Probably when we were kids," Ed replied flatly. He stared out of the window at the train station. He wished they would just pull away already! He wanted to stare at the countryside not all these people, especially not the happy ones. He sighed and placed his flesh hand over his eyes. He was exhausted! He couldn't remember the last time he had had a full night's sleep. He tried to sleep but whenever he did he was plagued by dreams of Roy's cold mocking gaze as he told Ed that he was nothing more than a sex toy to him.

'I mean look at yourself; what chance did you think you really had with me?' Ed took a deep breath and stared out of the window again. He did not want to start crying again. Wasn't that all out of his system yet? He was going to have to start intentionally dehydrating himself to stop himself from crying every time he thought about Roy. He sighed again, lost in his own thoughts and misery, until he felt Al's hand settle on his head. He closed his eyes and leaned against him.

"Are you going to try and get some sleep Brother?" he asked. Ed shrugged, not opening his eyes.

"I probably should," he replied.

"You should," Al stated. "You'll feel better if you get some proper sleep."

"I'll feel better when I get out of Central," Ed said opening his eyes and looking out of the window again.

"You think so?" Al asked.

"Definitely," Ed replied. The train whistle blew and it slowly began to move. _Thank fuck for that_ , Ed thought, _about time too_. He could already feel himself starting to relax. "I want to put as much distance between me and this fucking city as possible."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, this is a little filler chapter for your midweek and it's all about our favourite sociopath :D set pretty much at the end of episode 42, hope you enjoy 3**

"I'm so fucking bored!" Envy groaned as he flopped down onto the sofa in Wrath's office, stretching himself out like a cat in the sun. He looked over at Pride, who had barely looked up from the book he was reading. Envy scowled. Who did that little shit think he was, ignoring him like that? He tried again. "I said I'm so..."

"I heard you the first time," Pride said, still not looking up from his book. "I was choosing to ignore you." Envy glared at him.

"Well I'm sorry," he said sarcastically. "Now that the Fullmetal pipsqueak is up in Briggs and Wrath has screwed Mustang up by taking away his precious Hawkeye there isn't that much I can do to either of them that will fuck them up." Pride rolled his eyes, still refusing to look up from his book. If he looked up then he was actually having this conversation and he did not want to be having this conversation. There wasn't much he cared even less about that Envy's plans to have sex being interfered with.

"Don't you have anything better to do with your time than mess around with Fullmetal and Mustang?" he asked.

"Not really," Envy replied. Pride just rolled his eyes again. He had absolutely not patience for this. Ever since Fullmetal had left Central and he couldn't fuck around with either him or Mustang, Envy had been doing nothing apart from sitting around and complaining that he had nothing to do all the time.

"God, you're useless," he said.

"Well what do you do when you're not being sweet little Selim?" Envy asked sarcastically.

"I actually do what Father asks me to," Pride replied. "Unlike you I don't need a distraction to keep me entertained."

"But you should have seen the Fullmetal pipsqueak's face when Mustang told him it was never going to happen, pointing out all his little insecurities," Envy cackled. "It was fucking priceless! I wish I'd had a camera with me."

"I imagine not getting regular sex is putting you on a downer as well," Pride said, still not looking up from his book. He could not be bothered to listen to Envy's shit, especially as he was complaining about not being able to do something that he shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Envy snickered.

"It is definitely up there on my list of reasons," he replied. He couldn't deny that both Mustang and Fullmetal, while they were fun to mess around with, were fantastic lovers. The way Ed writhed around him and the sounds he made! They were enough to get Envy hard just thinking about it. Then there was Mustang – hot damn, he knew what he was doing! Every single rumour that Envy had heard about him paled in comparison to the real thing. He pressed the heel of his hand against his crotch and hissed at the friction of his clothes against his growing erection. Fuck, he missed the sex!

"If you're going to jerk off can you please go and do it somewhere else?" Pride asked. That was the last thing he wanted to see right now.

Before Envy could respond the door of the office opened and Wrath entered. He looked over at Envy, sprawled out on his soft, and sighed, suppressing his irritation. Out of all all the others why was he the one who had to get stuck babysitting Envy? He was becoming insufferable now that his two little play-things were otherwise occupied with other things.

"If you're bored I have some matters I would like you to attend to," he stated. Envy sat up, his interest suddenly piqued.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes," Wrath said, smirking. "Something that will entertain you now that you don't have Mustang and Fullmetal to play with."

"Perfect," Envy smirked. This was the opportunity he had been waiting for – the chance to cause some more havoc. "What's the job?"

"You're required in the North," Wrath told him.

"North?"

"Yes," Wrath replied. "Tracking down our old friend Dr Marcoh."

"Marcoh's in the North?" Envy asked.

"Honestly, don't you pay any attention when people talk to you?" Pride asked.

"Can it squirt!" Envy shot back, glaring at him. He turned back to Wrath. "So I go North, track down Marcoh and bring him back?"

"Indeed." Wrath nodded.

"We got a lead?"

"We do," Wrath said. "He's travelling with some old friends of ours."

"Hang on," Envy said as that sunk in. "You don't mean...?" The Fullmetal pipsqueak and his brother had been up in the North. He smirked up at Wrath who just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I thought you'd enjoy this," he said. "If you're lucky you might even come face to face with at least one of your old sex toys."

"Perfect," Envy said, rubbing his hands together. "When do I start?"

"Now," Wrath said. He went over to his desk, picked up the phone, pressed a few buttons and handed the receiver to Envy.

"Hello?" Envy said as he took it.

"Envy," the voice on the other end said. "It's Zampano." Envy's smirk widened.

"Zampano," he said. "What have you go for me?"

"I'm with Marcoh, Scar, Fullmetal's brother and a few others in a little village about twenty miles from Fort Briggs," Zampano said. "We'll be here for the next couple of days while Fullmetal's brother and the Xingese girl go through some notes left by Scar's brother."

"Perfect, I'll be there tomorrow," Envy said before putting the phone down. This was too good to be true! He was going to get hold of Marcoh (and get Pride off his back about not doing anything to help their cause) and there was a chance that he could run into Fullmetal and have another chance to fuck him over some more. This was going much better than expected...


	5. Chapter 5

**So we're now up to around episode 53 now and it's going to get weird :D hope you all enjoy**

"Damn it, these guys just keep on coming!" Ed growled, sending another of the, seemingly, immortal dummies careening back the way it had come. This was insane! These crazy, spindly freaks of nature just kept coming; wave after wave of these humanoid creatures that didn't appear to have any kind of soul or mind of their own and just would NOT FUCKING DIE! He was starting to get tired and he didn't know how much longer he could last out, never mind the others who were with him. One of the creatures managed to land a lucky blow, knocking him to the floor before climbing on top of him.

Fuck!

This was it... this was how he was going to die; pinned to the floor at the hands of these weird experiments. He'd never be able to see Al whole and restored again. He never be able to help him get his body back. He closed his eyes and waited for the final blow, bracing himself against the floor, trying to think of some escape plan he could pull out of thin air... anything would do right now.

He heard something rush past his ears and was suddenly surrounded by heat. Tentatively he opened his eyes and saw a wall of fire in front of him, burning the dummies that had been about to finish him off to a crisp. The one on top of him slowly turning to ash above him. Ed turned and his heart leapt as he found himself face to face with Roy for the first time since he had shouted at him before storming up north.

He felt his face heating up (and that had nothing to do with the fire slowly burning itself out) as he stared up at Roy... Fuck, he looked good. Solid, strong and powerful, his eyes cold and focused as he glared at the target in front of him; the Roy that Ed had first fallen in love with. Once the fire had burnt itself out Roy came back to himself and ran to kneel beside Ed looking concerned and ignoring everything else around him that wasn't Ed.

"Fullmetal, are you alright?" he asked placing his hand on Ed's shoulder after Ed had pushed himself to his knees. Ed stiffened, as a rush of emotion crashed over him. He shook Roy's hand off his shoulder but not out of anger. He couldn't deal with Roy touching him, it was making his head too fuzzy and making his entire chest ache just being this close to him. They were in the middle of a fight for fuck's sake he couldn't afford to fall apart now.

"I'm fine," he replied shortly. He got to his feet and turned to face yet another group of the dummies. "Don't know for how much longer though."

"What are these thing?" Roy asked, getting to his feet and turning towards the dummies. Ed shrugged, sending one flying with a roundhouse kick to the face.

"Not sure," he said. "I think they're some kind of science experiment for the higher ups but they're a fucking bitch to kill!" Roy clicked his fingers, striking up another inferno.

"Well setting them on fire seems to be doing a rather decent job, so I'll lead with that," he said. Despite himself Ed laughed.

"You always lead with that, you fucking pyro," he said slicing through the neck of the dummy in front of him with his transmuted automail blade. He turned to grin at Roy but saw one of the dummies coming up behind him. "Roy look out!" he shouted and instinct took over him and he darted over in Roy's direction. Roy barely had time to look round before Ed flew past him, landing a kick to one of the dummies just behind him.

"Thank you," he said, a little breathlessly. God he had forgotten just how good Ed looked especially when he was fighting. He looked good anyway but there was a graceful beauty in his fighting style. He had tried to forget just how good Ed looked but now, seeing him in action, it all came flooding back to him.

"Don't mention it," Ed said. If he could pass it off as nothing then he could maybe pretend to himself that he hadn't just done that because the thought of Roy getting hurt or worse was almost unbearable. Suddenly, before either of them could react, one of the dummies landed a kick in the small of his back. He was forced into Roy's chest, who caught him but the force was enough to send them careening backwards as he did. Roy clicked his fingers again as they fell, burning through another wall of the dummies.

Roy hit the floor, wrapping his arms tightly around Ed, holding him close to his chest. Ed clung to him, almost without realising it, as the ground began to shake underneath them. He clung to Roy like a lifeline and he could feel his heart pounding as Roy held on to him too. Finally the room stopped shaking and Ed looked up; to his surprise all the dummies had disappeared and it was just him, Roy, Hawkeye, Scar and the others.

"Is it over?" Roy asked, still holding Ed tightly.

"I think so," Ed said. He looked down at Roy and suddenly realised the position they were in. His face flushed bright red and he jumped to his feet. He looked round to see Hawkeye staring at him, whether she had seen him lying on top of Roy or not he didn't know. Roy got to his feet, dusted himself off and cleared his throat.

"Well that could have been much worse," he said. He could still feel Ed's warmth and it was taking all of his willpower not to just grab Ed, say 'to hell with it' and kiss him like nothing else in the world mattered. He knew he shouldn't – this was hardly the time – but god he wanted to. "Thank you for your help, Fullmetal," he added.

"No problem," Ed muttered, still blushing furiously and turning away. God, he wanted to be back in Roy's arms. He had to fight everything that he was to not just break down and cry because he knew that Roy didn't want him. He was just looking out for his subordinate when he had saved him – it had nothing to do with him actually caring about Ed. He was broken out of his thoughts by hysterical, harsh laughter coming from behind them.

Each of them turned to see Envy, out of the jar he had been trapped in and back in his usual form, doubled over and laughing manically.

"This is fucking beautiful!" he chocked through his laughter.

"What's so funny homunculus?" Roy asked glaring at him. Envy tried to stand but doubled over again, holding his stomach as he gasped for breath.

"You two!" he cackled, pointing at Roy and Ed, who stared at each other before staring at him. The continued laughter got to him and Ed growled.

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face if you don't shut up!" he growled, taking up a fighting stance.

"I agree," Roy said. "You're outnumbered, so I suggest you give yourself up now. We may spare you if you co-operate."

"You'll spare me? That's fucking priceless!" Envy screeched placing his hand on his forehead as he laughed. "You two can't even stand to be in the same room as each other and you think you can beat me? I was the one who fucking made you like this so you have no hope of getting the best of me!"

"What?" Ed asked. Envy looked at both him and Roy staring at him in confusing and that only added fuel to his fire.

"God you humans are so fucking simple!" he cried with glee. "You're so easy to manipulate! You believe the first thing that appears in front of your eyes, no questions asked. It's like this one guy – all I had to do was turn into his wife and he couldn't do anything but stare in horror as his darling wife pulled the trigger!"

"Wait," Roy said as that sunk in. "Are you talking about Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?" Envy smirked.

"You catch on quick, don't you Mustang?" he said, not even bothering to hide the sarcasm in his voice. "No wonder Father's been having so much trouble with you."

Envy's words hit Roy like a punch in the gut. He stared, unable to take his eyes off Envy as red sparks flashed and slowly he changed into Gracia Hughes, a manic look in her eyes. His suspicions were confirmed despite how much he didn't want believe it. As soon as Envy had started gloating, he had thought he had known that Envy was talking about Hughes, and he hadn't given him a real answer when he had asked. Only as he turned into Gracia did he know that it was true, he had finally found the one he had been looking for. He felt numb; like he was completely separate from his body but as if the smallest jolt would cause him to break.

"What?" he choked out, somewhere between surprise, horror and blind fury.

"And the best part," Envy continued as if Roy hadn't spoken. "I can make you see, think or feel whatever I want you to. Neither of you had a hope in hell of seeing through it!" Red sparks flashed and Ed... or Envy looking like Ed, stood in front of them. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his small frame and contorted his face into a mask of pure pleasure. "Oh god, Roy!" he moaned. "Fuck me harder!"

"What?" Roy asked turning at stare at Ed who looked back at him with wide eyes. Ed shook his head – no this couldn't be happening – before turning back to Envy. He could feel even single pair of eyes in the room on him. Whether he wanted it or not the secret was out now but there seemed too be much more behind this. Was Envy saying what he thought he was saying? Ed tried to swallow the urge to vomit as red sparks flashed again, the Ed standing in front off him disappeared and a replica of Roy took its place.

"Edward," he moaned staring at Ed with lust filled eyes. "That's it, cum for me." Envy laughed as red sparks flashed a final time and he reverted back to his usual form. He turned to smirk at Roy. "You should hear the sounds he makes Mustang! I mean I tried my best but nothing even comes close to the real thing."

Tears sprang to Ed's eyes as he realised what Envy was saying. It had never been Roy... whenever the two of them had been together it had always been Envy. Had it? There must have been at least one time when it had been Roy but Ed couldn't tell anymore. He didn't know what was happening any more and he couldn't focus his thoughts enough to take any of it in – it didn't seem real...

There was a click and a flash of fire headed straight for Envy. It engulfed him and he let out a scream of abject agony. Ed whipped round to stare at Roy. His eyes were cold, hard and focused as he glared in Envy's direction.

"Shut up," he snarled, his voice like ice, as the fire subsided. Red sparks crackled off Envy's skin as he regenerated himself. He gave a harsh bark of laughter before he straightened and stared defiantly at Roy.

"You think that will be enough to defeat me?" he asked. "I have a fucking philosopher's stone inside of me that will just keep on going and going. You'll run out of power long before I do, you..."

Envy never got to finish his insult as Roy clicked his fingers again and Envy burst into flames. Screams of agony bounced off the walls and the stench of burning flesh hit Ed's nostrils, the urge to vomit creeping back again.

"I will burn you until there's nothing left!" Roy roared as the flames died down. He barely gave Envy a chance to regenerate before clicking and engulfing him in fire again. Ed tried to close his ears to the screams but to no avail. The flames dispersed and, this time, Envy was nowhere to be seen. Roy growled, glaring at the doorway he had been standing in before tearing off down the corridor after him, Hawkeye close at his heels. Ed sank to his knees as, once again, he felt his world cave in on itself because of how he felt about Roy.


	6. Chapter 6

**So this is around episode 54 in series cannon. This is one of my favourite episodes and was what made me really feel for Envy as a character. Shy of actually getting a transcript of the episode I feel as if I fell a little short of how hard that conversation hit me but I hope you enjoy it all the same :D**

Roy turned down another corridor only to find this one empty as well. He swore under his breath. This place was like a fucking maze! He had lost track of Envy and there was every possibility that he would never find him in these tunnels. He hadn't been paying attention to where he had been going so he wasn't sure he'd even be able to find his way back to Ed and the others. He had well and truly fucked himself over.

Whenever he thought of Ed he felt another flash of fury shoot through him. Seeing Envy change into Ed in front of his eyes was unsettling enough but when he had started moaning Roy's name it was too much for him. So it had never actually been Ed – it had been Envy the entire time and by the sound of it he had played the same trick on Ed. His fist collided with the wall. That must have been why Ed had shouted at him at headquarters; Envy had done something to Ed while pretending to be him. On top of that the fucking worm had been responsible for Hughes' death and, for that, Roy would make sure that he paid, with his life if necessary.

As he stood, trying to collect his thoughts enough to make a sensible decision, he heard voices. He listened for a few minutes, one of the voices was definitely Hawkeye's and the other sounded like... A low growl rumbled in his throat as he realised what was going on and formulated a plan. If he was quiet he would be able to get a sneak attack on Envy and, when he did, he wouldn't give him the chance to do his little regeneration trick. He silently began to make his way in the direction of the voices.

He came to the end of the corridor and saw Hawkeye on her knees, in front of Envy who looked exactly like him. Envy changed back to his normal form in a flash of red sparks and Roy took this as his cue before Envy could do anything to hurt anyone else he cared about. He clicked his fingers and Envy erupted in flames, his screams echoing off the walls. Once the fire had died down Roy stepped out of the shadows, his eyes cold and hard.

"What are you doing to my favourite subordinate?" he growled, towering over Envy. He didn't give him the chance to respond before he clicked his fingers and engulfed him in flames again. Envy's screams fell on deaf ears and the smell of burning flesh no longer bothered him; all Roy cared about was causing him as much pain as possible.

* * *

Ed's mind was still reeling, still trying to process the knowledge that he had been sleeping with Envy all along, not Roy. He felt sick. Just the thought that he had, unknowingly let that thing touch him. He had thought it was Roy! Every single time he had thought that it was Roy touching him and making him feel that good. He swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked away the tears pricking his eyes – he didn't want Scar to see him fall apart because it would be obvious why he was cracking up.

He turned down another corridor, Scar at his heels. Damn it! He shouldn't have gone tearing after Roy like that – now he was sure they were lost as ever single corridor in this damn maze of tunnel looked like every other fucking corridor! If he's have just kept it together and thought before running into a maze they wouldn't be lost. He couldn't help it though. That look in Roy's eyes when he had been burning Envy – it was clear that he wasn't thinking straight and if he didn't stop then he would do something he would eventually regret.

"Did you hear that?" Scar asked, breaking Ed out of his thoughts. He had been so lost inside his own head he hadn't heard anything. He didn't want to admit that to Scar though. He opened his mouth to answer but stopped. He turned to look down the corridor they were standing in front of. Was it just his imagination or did it seem hotter down there? He listened and heard the tell-tale click and then more heat.

"That way!" he cried and darted down the corridor in the direction of the heat. He knew it would lead him to Roy and he had to do something before Roy did something he knew he was going to regret. He reached the end of the corridor and came to a sudden stop. Roy was standing in front of a ball of fire that, judging by the screams, was Envy setting new fires before the the old ones had even had a chance to die out.

All Ed could do was watch, staring as Roy struck up fire upon fire. He had never seen him like this before. Usually when Roy used his alchemy he was calm and collected but now he seemed to be running on blind fury alone. Ed was quite thankful that he couldn't see the look in Roy's eyes as he was sure he would never be able to wipe it from his mind. Roy was so focused on exacting his revenge on Envy that he hadn't noticed Ed standing behind him.

"You," he snarled, clicking his fingers again. "You took away my best friend," Another click. "You took the love of my life," Another click. "And now you're trying to take the only person I have left!" Roy clicked again. Envy screamed, convulsing through the flames before he stopped moving all together.

Roy watched as a small, green, worm like creature crawled out of the top of Envy's head . It fell to the floor and began to crawl away as fast as it's tiny legs would carry it. It took Roy a moment to realise that the creature trying to escape was Envy. He strode over to it and stamped down on it, trapping it between his boot and the floor.

"No!" Envy cried, desperately trying to wriggle free as Roy put more pressure on him.

"So this is what you really look like?" he asked. "Pathetic!" Envy wailed as Roy pushed him further into the floor. "A fitting death for a worm like you." One more push and he would finish him off; he would finally be able to avenge Hughes.

"Stop! Please!"

Roy turned, glaring in the direction of the voice, ready to turn his anger on the one who had stopped him and turn them into a pile of ash. He stopped, freezing as he saw Ed standing behind him. Ed looked as if he was only just holding it together but he was staring at Roy, pleading him with his eyes to stop. Roy felt dizzy, a number of different emotions hitting him all at once and he couldn't make sense of any of them.

"Fullmetal..."

"Please don't," Ed said again.

"But Fullmetal he deserves to die!" Roy cried. "You know what he's done!"

"And more besides that but we need him alive. We can get information out of him."

"But..." Roy could feel himself shaking. When had Ed become the level headed one while he was so blinded by his own hatred? He sank to his knees, all the fight going out of him. He placed his face in his hands unable to think, speak or do anything. He looked up as he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Ed smiling at him. It was a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes but it stopped Roy's heart all the same.

"It's okay," he said softly. Roy placed his hand on top of Ed's and, for a moment, it was as if nothing had happened and they were alone in his office. Nothing else mattered, it was just him and Ed and they could work this out.

"What the hell?" Envy's shrill voice cut through their moment, pulling them both sharply back to reality. "How can you stand to be around each other?!"

"What?" Ed asked softly. He had been so wrapped up in Roy he had forgotten that Envy and the others were even there.

"After everything he said to you!" Envy cried, glaring up at Ed and Roy. "After he ripped out your heart and stomped all over it you still look at him like that?"

"It's a little different now that we know it was really you all along, you lying bastard," Roy said sardonically.

"But what about the rest of you?" Envy asked turning to stare, imploringly, at Hawkeye and Scar. "He's responsible for the death of the pipsqueak's friend's parents!" He pointed at Scar. "And while we're on the subject what are you doing with these Alchemists? You hate Alchemists! They're responsible for the extermination of your people! How can you be working with them? Why are you humans so trusting?"

"See that's the funny thing about humans," Ed said softly. "You can put us down time and time again but we'll keep getting back up because we always believe that if we keep trying, things can get better."

"What the hell kind of philosophy is that?" Envy asked, glaring up at Ed. "You think that if you all hold hands and really hope then you'll win? That's fucking stupid! You can't win against the homunculus – we're stronger and more powerful than you can ever imagine."

"You see that's where you're wrong," Ed said. "We're stronger together than we are on our own. When there's a cause that goes beyond our own personal feelings we will stand up and fight to protect what matters."

"You can't be serious?" Envy cried stopping short. He looked around at Hawkeye, Roy and Scar, all of them staring down at him. The realisation that they also agreed with Ed hit Envy like a kick in the stomach and he felt tears beginning to well up in his eyes. "There's... there's no way! I don't understand. You all hate each other, how can you all suddenly pull together like this? There's just no way..." It pained Ed more than he realised to see the tears beginning to run down Envy's tiny face and he suddenly realised why Envy was the way he was.

"I understand," he said. "You're jealous of humans."

"Jealous? Of you pathetic humans?" Envy asked. "Don't make me laugh." He squeaked with laughter that dissolved into sobs. "How pathetic is this? Crying like a little worm – I'm Envy: The Jealous! I should be killing you all in the most painful way possible! How is it that the pipsqueak of all people has seen through me?"

"Envy," Ed said bending down so that he was closer to him, "why don't you help us? We can help you if you do."

"What's the point?" Envy asked, slumping over, tears still streaming down his cheeks. "What does it matter, I'm dead anyway. I failed. I'm no longer useful and I'm just a pathetic worm who got outsmarted by a pipsqueak like you. I'm just fucking dead." He opened his mouth wide and with tiny hands he reached inside. It took Ed a moment to realise what was happening but when he saw a glint of red his eyes widened in horror.

"No!" he cried. "Stop!" He stared, not knowing what else to do as Envy pulled the philosopher's stone that he been keeping him alive out of his throat, pulling until the tendons holding it snapped. He dropped it to the floor where it crumbled to ash. He fell onto his back as he slowly began to turn to ash himself.

"Goodbye Edward Elric," he whispered. "Eventually you'll wish I had killed all of you." Ed stared until Envy had completely disappeared, leaving nothing behind.

"He took his own life," Roy said softly. "Cowardly bastard." Ed couldn't say anything. Despite all Envy had done to him he couldn't help feeling sorry for him. To feel as if that was your only way out... Ed couldn't even imagine it. He sat, staring at the place where Envy had been until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He looked round to see Roy, looking tired and drained, and his heart ached.

* * *

Silence hung over their little group as Ed, Roy, Hawkeye and Scar made their way down the deserted tunnels, trying to find their way back to... somewhere – anywhere that wasn't another tunnel. Ed kept opening and closing his mouth as he thought of something he wanted to say to Roy but thought better of it. He didn't really want to have this conversation in front of Hawkeye and Scar – he didn't really want to have this conversation full stop but he needed to talk to Roy sooner or later.

How were they supposed to proceed from here? He had spent so much time being angry at Roy for breaking his heart and now to find out that it was actually Envy... that his secret relationship had been with Envy pretending to be Roy... that the exact same thing had been happening to Roy... Ed just didn't know what to do. They couldn't exactly pick up where they had left off because none of it was real – they had just been taken in by Envy's trick.

He hung back slightly. He didn't even have time to properly think about this and make a decision. They were right in the middle of the Promised Day and had other, slightly more pressing matters to attend to. Save the world first, then they could talk about their relationship. Roy noticed Ed was dawdling and fell into step with him.

"You alright Fullmetal?" he asked. Ed shook his head and smiled up at him.

"I'm fine," he said. Roy raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're not, I know when you're lying," he said. Ed sighed and let out a soft laugh.

"Do you though?" he asked. Roy gave him a wry smile.

"So that's it," he said. "I know how you feel because I've been thinking the exact same thing."

"So where do we go from here?" Ed asked. Maybe he could pass off the responsibility of making this decision on to Roy. He had no idea what they should do or even what he wanted to do so he didn't feel as if he could even think clearly enough to make a sensible decision.

"Well..." Roy began but was cut off by Hawkeye.

"Here's something," she said quietly. Ed and Roy both looked in the direction she was signalling to see an open door a few week away from them. Hawkeye pressed herself to the wall next to the door, gun at the ready. Quickly and gracefully she jumped into sight, pointing her gun into the room. "I think it's clear." she told them.

The room was dark as they filed in and Ed didn't think they should hang around for too long but at least it was better than another fucking corridor. He was about to suggest they leave as there was nothing there when the door to the room slammed closed. They all whipped round to see a man in a doctors white coat, glasses and a wicked gleam in his eye. The man smiled and the tiny speck of light in the room glinted off a golden tooth.

"Well, well, well," he said softly. "How nice to see you all."

"Who are you?" Ed asked, glaring at him.

"I'm no one important," the gold toothed doctor said, grinning. "But I see I have managed to stumble upon two very important people; Edward Elric and Roy Mustang."

"And why are we so important?" Roy asked. The gold toothed doctor chuckled manically.

"You'll see when you get down there," he said.

"Get down where?" Ed asked. That made no sense but then the ground began to shake. He looked down to see a giant eye opening up beneath him. Black tendrils snaked up from the eye, grabbing hold of him. A shout of horror and surprise escaped his throat as the tendrils began to break him down and he began to disintegrate. He felt that familiar feeling of heady dizziness and he knew that he was about to pass through a Gate of Truth. He reached out towards Roy on instinct but it was no use, he had almost practically disappeared.

"Edward!" Roy cried, reaching out to him as well, as before his eyes, Ed disappeared and the eye in the ground closed. He stared at the place where Ed had been, unable to take in what had just happened. No... he couldn't have lost him again...


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, nice little bit of angst to start off your weekend, looking at around episode 59 in cannon, hope y'all enjoy :D**

Everything was a blur. All Roy remembered was being pinned to the floor by Wrath and Pride, the corpse of the gold toothed doctor practically flattening the breath out of him. He had always wanted to ask Ed what human transmutation felt like but he had never actually worked up the nerve. It had seemed much too personal a question to bring up in every day conversation, considering everything else that had happened between then.

Now he didn't have to.

He knew the dizzy heady rush as the transmutation started, speaks crackling in his ears and blinding white light surrounding him. He felt light, completely detached from his body, and he could feel the power coursing through him. It was almost too much power, like he couldn't contain it and it was going to rip him apart if he didn't do something. He closed his eyes as the world began to spin, hoping that it would be over soon.

As soon as he closed his eyes everything seemed to stop; no more sound, no more dizziness, no more nothing. He opened his eyes and found himself surrounded by white. There seemed to be no walls, no floor and no ceiling; everything was just white. Roy let out a shuddering breath. He had no idea where he was or how he got there and he was still reeling from the rush of the transmutation. Everything was just so damn white!

And then there was a small flash of colour. Far away in the distance and rushing towards him strips and strips of colour flew at him. He put up his arms in defence, waiting for a collision that never came. He looked up as the colour passed by. He narrowed his eyes, studying it – it looked like a film strip but it was flashing past too fast for him to properly make out what was on it. That was until he caught sight of a flash of gold and the film stopped passing and allowed him to see what it was that had been speeding towards him with such urgency.

It was Ed; spread out on his desk, panting and flushed as Roy fucked him. Roy felt a tug in his heart as the Ed on his desk melted into Envy. Roy looked away to another image of Ed, straddling Roy, riding him, clinging to him as they fucked. The Ed melted into Envy again and Roy looked away, feeling sick, but it was no use. Wherever he looked there were images of him and Ed fucking and, no matter what image he looked at one of them always melted into Envy. Roy shut his eyes, unable to take it any longer. He had known that this was true, Envy had told them so, but there was a tiny part of him that had hoped and prayed that it wasn't.

"Listen Fullmetal," he heard his own voice say. "You're a young, willing, hot piece of arse but just because someone fucks you doesn't mean they care about you."

Roy opened his eyes and, right in front of him was a huge moving image. The picture was grainy and the sound was tinny, like it had been filmed with an old camera and it was playing out like an old motion picture. He watched as the Roy in front of him melted into Envy and, still speaking in his voice, broke Ed's heart. Roy's chest tightened as he saw the pain on Ed's face and knowing that he thought it was him.

"Well I guess you won't have to worry about me holding you back anymore," Ed said and Roy could see him holding back the tears.

He wanted to run to Ed, throw his arms around him and never let go. To tell him that he loved him and that everything was going to be fine. Without thinking he took a step towards the image of Ed. As soon as he moved the image faded and Roy looked around as he was, once again, surrounded by white. He looked around, helplessly, desperate to get the image of Ed back. As he looked a harsh laugh cut through the silence, putting Roy on edge.

"Do you have any idea how much he suffered because of you?" a voice asked. Roy looked around for the source of the voice but came face to face with another moving image. This time Ed was alone in his room, switching between fits of rage and floods of tears, hugging his knees and sobbing.

"What?" Roy's voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, as he watched the vicious circle of Ed's rage and pain played out on the screen in front of him.

"His pain practically screamed out everywhere," the voice said. "Only as idiot would have missed it." The screen faded away and Roy found himself face to face with a figure, sitting on the floor in front of him. The figure was shrouded in white, almost making it blend with the background, the only visible and obvious part of the figure was the wide manic grin spreading across its face. Roy was still reeling from what he had just seen and he couldn't quite bring himself to process it or believe it or even react to it with anything other than shock.

"Who... who are you?" he asked. The figure seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"I go by many names but I guess, for now, you can simply call me the Truth," it said. Right... This was getting stranger and stranger by the minute and Roy was too focused on seeing his fake relationship with Ed play out before his eyes to fully take in what was happening. If this was the Truth, though, then surely it would know.

"So all those..." he began. The Truth laughed.

"Were exactly how your little relationship with the Fullmetal Alchemist played out," it said. "Obviously neither of you ever saw that in was Envy rather than the other but he was the one who was always there."

"So he was the one who..." Roy began again. He couldn't bring himself to say what he wanted – to ask if it was Envy who had orchestrated the whole thing. It made sense; he really couldn't imagine that Ed would have come to seduce him of his own free will – Ed was was too shy to make the first move, he put up a front but he was. He had walked in on Roy when he had been talking to a woman in his office, her hand on his thigh, and his face had gone bright red, he had spluttered an apology and darted out as fast as he could. To go from that to masturbating on his desk to entice him in a few short months. Now he thought about it, it was obvious to him that Ed had had a complete personality shift.

"Did you know that he was in love with you?" the Truth asked. "Having to be told that he was never going to be good enough for you and that you were just using him for your own gratification. You should have been there, the pictures don't do it justice."

"But..." Roy began. He didn't know what he was going to say. Try and justify himself, maybe? 'But it wasn't my fault' seemed like a pathetic excuse. If he had never fallen for Ed in the first place then neither of them would have been targets for Envy's trickery.

"I didn't think he could suffer any more than he already had but I was proved wrong." the Truth said.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Roy said hanging his head. His chest hurt and it felt like it was getting harder for him to breathe. Ed had loved him? He couldn't take it in. No wonder Ed had hated him for so long. He wanted to find Ed and apologise for everything, to just hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be fine, even if he didn't believe if himself he just wanted to let Ed know how he felt.

"But it did," the Truth said. "You could have turned him down at the first instance but you let Envy play on your weakness and let Edward get dragged along into it, right up to the point where he fell in love." Those words were like a knife twisting itself deeper and deeper into Roy's heart.

"He loved me..." He still couldn't quite believe that it was true – Ed had really loved him and he had never gotten the chance to tell him that he loved him too. The Truth shrugged.

"Then again, you can't even say that he fell in love with you anyway, seeing as it was Envy the entire time."

"No," Roy said. "I know what I feel for him and I love him! All the time we spent together..."

"Was with Envy!" the Truth snapped. "You can kid yourself all you like but you did not fall in love with Edward."

"No, it was real!" Roy said softly. The dizziness he had felt when he had first been forced down here was back; his head was spinning and he couldn't focus. He couldn't tell if he was trying to prove to the Truth that it was real or if he was trying to prove it to himself. It was delusional to think that it had been real; all the facts had been laid out for him. Every single moment that he had shared with Ed when they had been alone together was a lie.

"No it wasn't," the Truth said. "Neither of you ever really loved each other, you just fell for the ideal that Envy portrayed. You can act like your intentions towards him were pure but they weren't; Envy was willing to fuck you as Ed and that's what you wanted. It wasn't love – you can be as delusional as you like but that is the pure and simple fact of this: it was just sex. Lust and sex and nothing more than that."

"No..." Roy said, more to himself than to the Truth. "No, this can't be real." He knew how he felt and he really did love Ed, didn't he? He thought he did but maybe the Truth was right. If every single moment between him and Ed had really been between him and Envy then it wasn't real. It had never been Ed so how could he say that it was really love?

Roy's mind was reeling and, to make matters worse, the images of him and Ed began to flash past him. Every time he stopped to properly look at one them either he or Ed always became Envy. It hurt him more when he saw himself become Envy; after everything he had been told about Ed's feelings for him it seemed worse. Knowing that it had always been Envy with him, he could just about deal with that but there was nothing he could do to make this better for Ed. Nothing he could say to justify it.

And then the moaning started. The images began to move and Roy could hear Ed's soft moaning and panting all around him as Envy fucked him on his desk. When Ed began moaning Roy's name though – that was what really broke him. He closed his eyes and covered his ears, desperate to try and block it out but it seemed as if he couldn't no matter what; it was inside his head. All the strength left him and he sank to his knees, clutching his head to try to block out the sounds.

Silence suddenly fell, he felt a rush and then he became incredibly cold and he opened his eyes into pitch darkness.

"Roy?" a familiar voice asked.

"Edward?" Roy got to his feet and took a few tentative steps forward, stretching out his hands trying to find Ed in the darkness.

"How did you get down here?" Ed asked. His voice was closer so Roy took a bolder step but caught his foot on something and fell to the ground, catching himself on his hands and knees. He heard footsteps and then felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Roy said. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere under Central Command," Ed told him. "Al and I were brought down here through those weird eye portals, our teacher too. So how did you get down here?"

"Wrath and Pride forced me through a human transmutation then I was in this white expanse of nothing, now I'm down here," he said. He blinked, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness but there was nothing but black surrounding him.

"Wait," Ed cried. "Are you saying you went through the Portal of Truth?"

"I suppose so," Roy replied. He had no idea what it was, he had just known that it was white and nothing else.

"Well you don't appear to have lost anything," Ed said. "You've got all your limbs and everything."

"I don't see how you can see my physical condition in all this darkness," Roy stated.

"What are you talking about?" Ed asked and Roy could hear the confusion in his voice. "It's not... oh..."

"What?" he asked. Ed seemed to have grasped something that he was missing. Ed didn't say anything but Roy felt arms wrap around his neck as Ed buried his face into his shoulder. He was hit by the sudden realisation that, while Ed had found him easily and, as he felt something wet against his neck and felt Ed's shoulders shaking, Ed was shaken up enough to cling to him, crying. Roy wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Hey Fullmetal," he said softly. "Don't cry. Everything is going to be alright." He felt Ed cling to him tighter.

"How?"

"Because I know that we can do this; we can win this," Roy replied. "You didn't let loosing something stop you or hold you back so I won't let it stop me." Ed pulled back and saw the determined look on Roy's face and his heart ached. He wanted to hold him and not let go until all this was over but he had to stay strong, for Roy.

If Roy wasn't going to let this hold him back then neither was he. He stood up and helped Roy to his feet. He had chosen this – he had been the one to attempt human transmutation and he had paid the price for it but Roy had had this forced on him. This was not his fault and he didn't deserve it. Ed was determined that he would beat the insane man who wanted to play god and he would get his and Al's original bodies back. Now he was adding Roy's name to that list as well.


	8. Chapter 8

**Holy crap! Past canon events! So this is probably a couple of days after the events of episode 63 and half way through episode 64. Hope you all enjoy :D**

Ed wandered down the corridors of the hospital for want of something to do. He felt tired but at the same time he was too wired to even think about sleeping. He had done it! He had actually done it – he had taken on Father and he had won and, not only that, he had actually succeeded in getting Al back to flesh and blood again. He also had his arm back, which was a nice added bonus. It felt weird having two flesh arms again and he kept touching things with his right hand just to remind himself that it was real and he hadn't dreamt it.

He had left Al to get some sleep and had gone off by himself for a bit rather than staying in thee room with him. It was a little painful to see him so thin and hooked up to so many machines pumping life back into him but the fact that he was human again made it all the better – it made it worth it. He smiled to himself. He felt like he could relax for the first time in probably going on six years now. Maybe he should go and get some sleep. He couldn't actually remember the last time he'd had a proper night's sleep.

The more he thought about it the more it seemed like sleep was going to be the deal of the day. He rounded a corridor, hoping to find somewhere quiet where he could get a few hours in, undisturbed, and found himself standing a few feet away from the room Roy was in. He hesitated for a second. He really should go in and talk to him about everything that had happened. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have but he couldn't shy away from it now... not really. He had just gone up against a wannabe god and won so he couldn't chicken out from a simple conversation. It was just talking, right?

He opened the door and stepped inside. Roy was lying in bed, probably asleep. Ed softly closed the door behind him and made his way over to his bed side. He reached out and brushed Roy's hair out of his face. He had forgotten just how much of an affect Roy had on him. Without warning Roy suddenly, roughly grabbed his wrist. A soft gasp left Ed's lips as Roy's grip tightened to almost painful levels.

"Who are you?" Roy growled.

"It's me..." Ed said softly. "It's Ed." Roy immediately let got of his wrist.

"I'm sorry," he said as he heaved himself up to a sitting position. "I'm still a little on edge after everything that has happened."

"What what's going to happen now with your..." Ed began but he couldn't bring himself to finished.

"Eyesight?" Roy asked, finishing it for him. "Dr Marcoh says he may have something that will be of use to me although I have yet to discuss the full ins and outs of it yet."

"That's good," Ed said softly. "I'm glad." The small talk felt so forced but Ed was trying to build up to what he really want to say.

"But that's not why you came to see me, is it?" Roy asked. Ed sighed as he pulled a chair up beside Roy's bed and sat down.

"I suppose not," he said. Roy sighed.

"I suppose we should talk about it otherwise things are going to become even more awkward than they already are," he said. Both of them fell silent for a moment before Roy sighed again. His shoulders sagged and all Ed wanted to do was throw his arms around him and bury himself into Roy's chest but that would just make thing all the harder. "It was never really you?" Roy asked when the silence had stretched on for too long. "Was it?"

"Guess not," Ed replied. "It was never really you either, was it?" Ed knew the answer but he still wasn't prepared for it.

"Apparently not," Roy said. There was another pause, the room thick with tension and unanswered questions. Roy took a deep breath. He knew what he wanted to ask but that question only had one answer he wanted to hear. "So where would you like to go from here?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked.

"Well we do have a few options that we should probably discuss before we proceed," Roy replied. Despite himself Ed chuckled softly. Did Roy really have to make this sound so much like a business deal?

"Okay," he said. "And those options are?"

"Well we could start from the beginning with a completely fresh start," Roy said.

"I think too much has happened for that to be an option," Ed replied.

"Maybe," Roy said and Ed could hear the sadness in his voice. "We could walk away and just chalk it up to a bad experience but I don't particularly want to do that."

"Or?" Ed asked. Neither of these options sounded particularly favourable and he was hoping that Roy had another plan.

"Or," Roy said and Ed couldn't help but note the underlying hope on his face. "We could pick up where we left off." Ed's heart sank. Out of everything that Roy had said that was the one thing he wanted the most and the one thing that they couldn't have. He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes as he realised just how much he wanted to say 'yes, let's do it' but he knew (and he was sure Roy knew it too) that they just couldn't.

"No we can't," he said softly. "It was never real to begin with, we can't just carry on like it was."

"But we could," Roy said. "It wouldn't be difficult. Yes it would take work but I believe we could do it." Ed exhaled slowly, trying to stop himself from crying

"No, we can't," he said. "You know we can't. As much as I want to we can't just pick up where we left off; there would be too many issues left over from Envy. There are things he said that... that I have a hard time forgetting."

"I know," Roy said. "The Truth showed me everything that happened, especially that." Ed let out a soft, breathy laugh and ran a hand over his face.

"Sounds like you had about as much fun in the Portal of Truth as I did the first time around," he said.

"Quite," Roy replied.

"So you know why I can't just forget what he said," Ed told him. "Especially as I thought it was you at the time."

"But I don't feel that way," Roy said. He reached out slightly and Ed took his hand. "You have to know that. I don't think like Envy, I'm not him, and he was clearly saying it in order to shake you up."

"Maybe," Ed said. "But he wasn't wrong."

"Yes he was!" Roy gave Ed's hand a squeeze. "You can't think like that!"

"It's okay, I'm not delusional," Ed told him. "I knew realistically that there was very little chance for a relationship between the two of us to work. I just hoped, I guess."

"But it can," Roy said. "If you don't think we can pick up where we left off then we can at least start afresh."

"But you have so many other things you now need to focus on," Ed said. "You've got to get your eyesight back and then you've got to start working on becoming Fuhrer."

"And I can do that with you by my side!" Roy said giving Ed's hand another squeeze. Ed took another deep breath, praying that his voice didn't break. Roy couldn't see the tears now slowly making their way down Ed's cheeks and he didn't want him to know that he was falling apart. He was still as stubborn as ever.

"I don't want to hold you back," he said. Roy seemed to crumple and he let out a shuddering breath, trying to hold himself together.

"Is that how you really feel?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," Ed replied, his voice hoarse.

"I suppose you are right," Roy said gruffly. "We don't have a whole lot to base this on other than sex that we weren't actually having with each other."

"So we'll part ways and say that it's for the best," Ed said. Roy sighed but nodded.

"Agreed."

"I should probably go and get some sleep," Ed said. "And leave you to get some rest too. I'll see you around."

"Yes," Roy nodded. "I'll see you around Fullmetal."

It hurt both of them to hear Roy call him that but it made things easier in some ways. It meant that they could go their separate ways and Ed could try to get over Roy properly. He had spent so long trying to get over him but his anger had stopped him. Now knowing that it had really been Envy was making things easier.

He wanted to lean forward and kiss Roy one final time but that would make things much too painful. He squeezed Roy's hand before he got to his feet and left the room. As Roy heard his footsteps retreating he wanted to call out to him and try to persuade him one more time to reconsider but he knew there was no point so he just shut his mouth.


	9. Chapter 9

**So after all the angst and everything in between here we are at a relatively cheesy ending. Thank you so much for all your reads and reviews; I'm so glad you've enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy the last chapter, thank you again, you guys are the best 3**

It had been a year since Ed had been in Central City. It had been nice being back in Resembool but he really had been in one place for too long. He and Al had been recovering (Al mostly but after everything that had happened Ed didn't want to just run off and leave him) but he had been getting itchy feet the longer they had stayed. In Ed's opinion the letter they had received from Fuhrer Gruman informing them of a Promised Day Remembrance Service could not have come soon enough.

"Ah smell that city air," he said, taking a deep breath as he and Al stepped off the train.

"Brother it smells like smog and sweaty people," Al said raising an eyebrow at him. "Especially in here."

"I know but I've missed it," Ed said.

"I remember one of the last times we were here and you said you wanted to put as much distance between this city and yourself as possible," Al teased. Ed flushed.

"Thanks for that," he muttered.

"I'm sure if that sentence came out of Fullmetal's mouth there would have been a lot more swearing punctuating it," a deep voice said.

"It's not Fullmetal any... more," Ed said turning in the direction of the voice and tailing off as he came face to face with Roy for the first time since he had told him it was over, that they couldn't just pick things up where they had left off despite how much he really wanted to. His breath hitched, he really had forgotten just how good Roy looked in uniform. "Roy," he said, his voice coming out as more of a breathy whisper.

"Edward." Roy gave him a nod of recognition but the look in his eyes spoke volumes to Ed. Maybe Roy had thought about him as much as he had been thinking about Roy over the past year and maybe he regretted just leaving as much as Ed did. God, he looked so good! It was making Ed's brain stop functioning properly. "How have you been?" Ed shrugged slightly.

"Not too bad," he said. "And yourself?"

"I've been well," Roy replied. "I managed to return my eyesight back to normal although I do have to wear glasses for reading."

"That might just be because you're old," Ed grinned, cheekily.

"I think you'll find I'm not that old," Roy replied smiling at Ed fondly all the same.

Al watched the exchange with idle amusement. Nothing going on between them his arse! He had asked Ed what had happened between him and the Colonel numerous times but Ed had always said that it was nothing really and that it didn't matter now because it was over. The way that the two of them were so wrapped up in each other they were basically ignoring him suggested that it certainly wasn't nothing. He cleared his throat loudly and both Roy and Ed turned to stare at him, suddenly remembering that he was there.

"Still here guys," he said grinning. Ed flushed scarlet and Roy looked incredibly embarrassed.

"Alphonse, sorry," he said sheepishly. "How have you been since I last saw you?"

"I've been fine thank you," Al replied. "Getting used to being a real flesh and blood person again."

"I imagine that would take some getting used to," Roy said. "After being a suit of armour for so long at least."

"Yes, but it's getting easier," Al said. "All the food that Mrs Hughes sends us and Winry and Granny Pinako have been making to feed me up more than makes up for it."

"I'm glad to hear it," Roy chuckled. Al turned to Ed.

"Brother are you going to help me unload the stuff?" he asked.

"Y... yeah sure," he stammered, coming back to himself.

"Stuff?" Roy asked raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

"You'll see," Al grinned. Roy turned his look of confusion to Ed as Al made his way over to the end carts of the train.

"It's a surprise for tonight," Ed told him.

"So you'll be around tonight?" Roy asked. A soft blush dusted Eds cheeks and he bit his lip, coyly.

"Um, yeah," he said.

"Well I suppose I'll see you tonight then," Roy said.

"Yeah," Ed replied. He couldn't take his eyes off Roy. His mind was clouded and he wanted nothing more than to grab him by the lapels of his coat and pull him into a kiss and not let him go. He opened his mouth to say something, he didn't know what but he knew that he wanted to say something.

"Brother!" Al yelled. Ed stiffened.

"I'll see you later," he told Roy before running off to join Al.

"See you later," Roy said to himself as he watched Ed leave. He hadn't realised just how hard being face to face with Ed again would be. He had wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms and just hold him. He sighed. It's only one day, he thought, he just had to get through the rest of the day and he would be fine. Ed would leave Central and he would be able to carry on with his life.

* * *

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer said. "To finish off today's Remembrance celebrations we have a stunning firework display courtesy of Edward and Alphonse Elric." Roy, who had been standing near the both of them, turned in surprise to see them both grinning at him in the light of the street lamps.

"So this was your surprise?" he asked.

"Yep," Ed replied.

"Brother had to do something with his time in Resembool while I was recovering and apparently creative multi-coloured explosives was his best alternative," Al said. Ed grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. It was true; now that he didn't have his alchemy and didn't have a crazy man to defeat and bodies to get back he had to do something with his time. Al had lost count of the number of times Ed had mumbled 'I'm going to science' and had gone down to the basement only to return after a few explosions and lots of swearing later.

"Master Elric," a voice said. Both Ed and Al turned to see one of the stewards running towards them. "Can one of you please come and set off the start of the display, we tried but we couldn't make head or tail of your instructions."

"I told you you should have let me write them," Al said fixing Ed with a pointed look. Ed just grinned at him and Al rolled his eyes. "I'll go," he told the steward and left with him chatting happily.

Now Ed and Roy were alone and Ed was nervous. He wanted to say something but he still had no idea what. What could he say? 'Hey I know I said we shouldn't see each other anymore but I'm still in love with you and haven't been able to think about anyone else for the past year'. No, that would be crazy.

"Listen Roy..." he began but was cut off by a loud bang and gasps of awe from the crowd around him. He looked up to see colour filling the sky. "Never mind..." Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't had the chance to say anything. He would just watch the fireworks and enjoy himself. He watched as each of the fireworks exploded in the sky, happy in the knowledge that the display seemed to be going off without a hitch. As he stood he found himself overcome with the urge to touch Roy.

Still keeping his eyes on the sky Ed reached over and linked his fingers with Roy's. Roy stiffened as he felt Ed take his hand but relaxed immediately, almost as if he had been expecting it. He looked over at Ed and saw that he hadn't taken his eyes off the fireworks. He smiled to himself and looked back up as another firework exploded, filling the sky with colour. He gave Ed's hand a gentle squeeze.

Neither of them said anything, they didn't have to. It was obvious to the other what they were both thinking. Despite everything that had happened – the pain, the anger, the confusion – they were both too far gone to just let it all go. They had tried and failed and Ed was sick of pretending that he wasn't head over heels in love with Roy. He could lie to himself as much as he liked but he knew that, really, it was no use.

He turned to face Roy and smiled up at him. Roy reached over to brush Ed's fringe out of his eyes, his hand coming to rest on Ed's cheek. His eyes zeroed in on Ed's lips as he teased his bottom lip with his teeth. Roy placed his other hand on Ed's cheek cradling his face and Ed reached up to take hold of the front of Roy's coat. Roy pressed his lips to Ed's in a gentle kiss that made Ed's knees go weak. He clung to Roy's coat as one of the hands on his face left so Roy could wrap his arm around Ed and pull him close.

Ed wrapped his arm around Roy's neck, both of them ignoring the crowd around them, the fireworks and everything that had happened before. All they knew was each other and all they cared about was each other. Figuring it all out could wait until later, for now they would stay wrapped up in each other for as long as they wanted. Nothing else mattered, all that mattered was Roy's lips on Ed's and Ed's hands in Roy's hair.

THE END


End file.
